Love, Lust and Lifestyle

Date x Dentures x Disaster

Dating is complicated.

We want to be on our best behavior during this courting stage, yet, we are expected to display whatever faults we tend to have.

Some of us are of a mindset that sugarcoating is a major no. However, being honest does not give you permission to be an a**hole.

I quote this scene a lot!

Once upon a time, in recent history, I went on what I refer to as an “I went to a store, he met me there, and we so happen to go eat afterwards” instead of a date.

She gets it!

I won’t bore you with all the details but I’ll let you draw your own conclusion as to whether it was a one and done or a continued companionship.

The sum of it all is as follows:

  1. He showed up late to the pop-up shop. Mind you I offered to pick him up in the Uber I took to get to the event. I’m now realizing he probably thought he’d have to pay for it…?
  2. We walked around to converse a bit. Not before him cursing at a driver and pointing out that his sneakers were limited edition DJ Khaled — that cost around $400.
  3. We were in the East Village, so I was familiar with a few food spots out there. Every time I suggested a place he claimed he didn’t care as long as he was able to continue hanging with me. Compliments like “your fine a**” and “I’m tuned into you” were thrown out there.
  4. I chose The Wren because I’ve been there before. We sat outside because the day was cool but sunny.
  5. As soon as I opened my zipper, the only words to tumble out from his mouth were directed towards my breast-asis. No hiding his lust. And thus giving me my best compliment (See previous blog)
  6. My mind is hazy about the next sequence of events — due to trauma and repression — but for some reason or another: he pulled his dentures out of his mouth!
  7. Now, I was informed that he was in a life threatening situation years prior, and also an MMA fighter, BUT I never thought I would be face to face with his dentures in a public setting or everrrr!
  8. You’re probably wondering if I scooby-dooby-doo’d my way out of there… I did not. The politeness lessons my grandmothers have instilled within me are still prevalent. I stayed y’all cause no way it was gonna get worse. Right?
  9. He proceeded to be obnoxious to our waitress. This grown man asked the young lady if the shishito peppers would make him fart or have him on the toilet — this is me putting it politely. I was f***ing embarrassed at this point and voiced as much.
  10. Long story short: the dentures came out a few more times; talks about wanting a complacent woman were relayed with answers from me that surely didn’t align with this line of thinking… but he wasn’t deterred; in the same breath that he claimed he wanted to take care of me, take me shopping & travelling and so on, he also left the majority of the bill for me to pay; did I mention he refused to look at the menu, told me to choose for him, and every time I suggested a meal he would ask the cost and proceeded to ask for another suggestion?

Be careful who you give your time to.

What was one of the worse dates that you’ve been on? 😬

*Please take a moment to Like, Comment, Share, Subscribe, and all that jazz!*

Thanks, Sugah 💋

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